Delphine

Lying underneath the floorboards of Delphine’s home, he watches her. He doesn’t know why, he doesn’t know anything, but he is compelled to watch. The intimate synergy between someone imprisoned and someone free, but who is trapped in her own dark emotions. This is a story about depression, how tough it is to feel connected and even when there is someone right next to you, how you feel so isolated and alone and helpless.

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For time lost he has been surreptitiously watching Delphine. From his detainment in the antechamber beneath the very ground she walks on, he has studied her every move, her every breath. With remorseless resolution he has watched her stumble through her awkward days, but he cannot say why. He has no reasoning for this apparent attraction. He has no explanation. He is just compelled with perverse inclinations, to wallow in this voyeurism which he cannot control, because he is simply no longer in control of himself. He no longer knows the meaning of self-control; it has been lost along with the rest of his life.

He has been banished to this current underground life for reasons he cannot remember. He is lonely, yet he does not know it, does not feel that particular anguish. Maybe some flicker of penury is still burning deep inside the black chasm in his head and that is why his attention never wanes. But he can never say, for his language now has been neglected. This man can no longer speak. He is now mute, because in Hell, the words fall by the wayside when you scream so much internally.

He has forgotten himself. He cannot recognise neither himself nor the person next to him, the one lying dutifully by his side. He doesn’t understand why he watches. He is just a watcher. A chaperone? An insatiable voyeur? An innocent observer? A medley of these, he just watches because his jumbled, contorted muscles instruct him to. He is beneath, contained under the floorboard of her house, where his only view of light is upwards, upwards through the cracks above. Crack through which he can see glimpses of a world which is long foreign to him.

Desperately lonely. The words: alone, lonely, forlorn and abandoned are attached to his soul only, not his body. His physical form is not alone, because he has that someone by his side, a someone who shares his depression in this earth under the floorboards.